Coaching Principles

from CoachVille

Principle: #1 Any situation can be optimized, even if already impressive.

• There is always a 'next level' to take one's business, life, skill set or situation.
• Clients hire coaches to nudge them further than they would go themselves.
• The current hip word is 'perfect.' If a situation, skill set or environment isn't yet perfect, help the client to raise their standards to play a higher game.

Principle: #2 When one is fully understood, one moves forward quickly.

• It's not enough just to listen; people need to be heard and understood in order to excel.
• Without this type of complete connection, people slow down or get stuck by life's events or situations.
• Humans are easily stopped. A coach, by hearing and understanding, helps a person to move forward much more quickly.
• Clients bond when they see that you understand and respect their thinking and dynamic.

Principle: #3 Synergy causes better results, much more efficiently.

• The basic definition of synergy is 1+1=3
• The extra output comes from the energy released from the interaction of the 2 elements; in this case, coach and client.
• Coaching is synergistic due to the collaborative nature between coach and client.
• Clients are 'buying' synergy when they hire a coach.

Principle: #4 Problems virtually disappear with a strong foundation.

• When a person has a strong Personal Foundation, they experience fewer personal problems.
• When a company has a strong Business Foundation, the company experiences fewer problems.
• Investing in the 10 steps to a strong foundation is a once in a lifetime investment.
• Note: Some clients don't want a problem-free life or business. Some people use problems as catalysts.

Principle: #5 Sometimes the client has the answer; sometimes the coach.

• And sometimes the answer appears out of the conversation between the parties.
• Don't assume the client has, or should have, all of the answers. One of the reasons they hired you is for your experience, observations and yes, even your answers.
• It really doesn't matter where the answers come from.

Principle: #6 One can have a perfect life or business.

• Civilization has evolved enough for more people to design, have and maintain a perfect life or business.
• Perfectionism (a cultural weapon, used mostly against women) is quite different than having a perfect life or even being a perfect person.
• In the Perfect Life Program, one identifies the 25 key (and practical) elements of perfect life.

Principle: #7 Most humans operate at far less then their potential.

• This, because of three things: Not enough structure and support to really 'go for it,' not enough opportunities that are compelling enough, and not enough information or expertise to make the most of one's inherent talents, which are often hidden, never developed or atrophied.
• A coach can help in all three areas.

Principle: #8 People do what they do because there is nothing more compelling to do.

• The trick is to help people discover new interests, projects or occupations in which they can excel beyond their wildest dreams.

• Until one experiences life at that level, one will continue to watch a lot of television & visit the mall.

• Coaches can help clients to find something compelling to do with their lives.

Principle: #9 Success is becoming a basic human right.

• Societally, we now have the emerging opportunity to move beyond the models of survival of the weak and privilege of the strong.
• This, thanks to freer access to information and to sell to the marketplace, thanks to the web.
• Coaches help their clients exercise their right to becoming successful in life and business.

Principle: #10 Most people don't know what they truly want.

• Few have had Goal Setting 101 in high school.
• Few have connected their goals with their values; in fact there is often a disconnect.
• It often takes a series of conversations with a coach to help the client identify what they've wanted all along, but either could not get to or articulate clearly.
• This is an important service that coaches provide.

Principle: #11 Tolerations are more expensive than people realize.

• What one puts up with, big or small, are called tolerations.
• People really can become Toleration-Free Zones, without becoming intolerant.
• What we put up with drains our energy and distracts us from what we really want.
• The Toleration Free Program addresses this need.

Principle: #12 We are all Picassos-in-training.

• The ability to create at the level we can, sets us apart from the other animals.
• To be human is to create.
• Most of us haven't had the encouragement to create or self-express to our heart's content, given the pressures and realities of living life.
• A coach can encourage you to discover special talents and help you express those talents.

Principle: #13 There's always a simpler way that is easier for everyone.

• Humans are complicated things for the juice of it.
• Cultural traditions, tethers and expectations prevent us from taking a simpler approach to challenges.
• Simple usually means sustainable; complicated means a lot of management, and great chance for problems.
• Coaches help clients simplify their lives.
• The Simplicity Course is one of the tools they use.

Principle: #14 The recognition of distinctions evolves people.

• Distinctions are subtle differences in life.
• Example: Strength vs. Power. Civilization is currently migrating to strength, away from the need for power.
• Discovering and responding to these subtleties naturally expands a person's thinking and thus evolves them.
• The Distinctionary is one resource used by coaches.

Principle: #15 Expressing values brings one fulfillment.

• Values are those things in life that are naturally important and valuable to use.
• Examples: Beauty, creativity, harmony, discovery.
• Fulfillment is a rich experience of oneself and life.
• If unfettered, one naturally orients around and expresses their values. But most are fettered.

• The TruValues Program is helpful in this area.

Principle: #16 Selfishness is a truly generous thing.

• Selfishness is a healthy thing. Nature is selfish.
• Selfishness is different than self-centeredness, self-absorption, narcissism, neediness or greediness.
• Selfishness has been given a bad rap; it's misunderstood. Being selfish advances civilization.
• A benefit to being selfish is that you get your needs met, which frees you up to be a lot more generous.

Principle: #17 Cyber-Skills are not optional in our lives.

• In a modern world, phones are not optional.
• Now, neither is email, web surfing and soon e-commerce for everyone.
• Soon having a website will be essential for everyone, self-employed or not.
• Certified Cyber is an ecourse that perfects your skill set in this area. And, coaches can help as well.

Principle: #18 Fear is best understood, not overridden or overcome.

• Most fears are something to be respected.
• Fear occurs for a very good reason. Discovering that reason leeds to self understanding and growth.
• Overcoming fears can be done, but it's fairly expensive to the body and mind.
• Reducing risk/consequences is one way to reduce fear naturally.
• Coaches help clients to reduce their fear in selected areas.

Principle: #19 The Attraction Approach brings the best of life to you.

• You can spend a lifetime chasing goals or people.
• Or you can become a more attractive person, using the attraction principles.
• Examples? Add value for the joy of it. Eliminate delay. Create a vacuum that pulls you forward.

• The 28 Attraction Principles are available here at CoachVille.

Principle: #20 Coaching is inter-developmental for both parties.

• An interdevelopmental relationship occurs when both parties want, and have permission, to develop the other.
• Interdevelopmental relationships are the next generation of interdependent relationships.
• Interdevelopmental relationships transcend traditional roles, rules, hierarchies. And arrogance.
• Clients learn this from their coach.

Principle: #21 The perfect goal naturally self-motivates a person.

• If you have to push yourself too hard to go for a goal, then it's probably not the ideal goal for you.
• Effort is cool; having to push yourself too hard is a clue.
• Coaches are trained to help clients discover and articulate perfect, winnable and self motivating goals. It's part of how we add value.

Principle: #22 Value is defined by the client not by the coach.

• It's the client's life and success measures, not ours.
• Also, it's not the quantity of what we do for the client, it's how much of what we're doing is valued by the client.
• That said, there are things we do for our clients that they won't recognize/value for years to come.
• Give the client what they value. And more.

Principle: #23 Humility is optional.

• As Golda Meir said, "Don't be so humble; you're not that great."
• Most of us are trained to express false humility when complimented or acknowledged.
• False humility is a socially acceptable lie. And untrue.
• This may seem like an insignificant coaching principle, but given that coaches are in the truth business it matters.

Principle: #24 Retirement is becoming irrelevant.

• As work becomes play, why would we want to retire?
• Coaches help clients either turn their work into play, or wind a new work that is play.
• That said, financial independence is important, but the definition of it is changing.

Principle: #25 The intersection of integration and responsibility is balance.

• When you integrate your body, mind, spirit, heart, environments, goals and needs, balance occurs.
• When you are self responsible, balance is sustainable.
• Balance is usually best created as a byproduct vs as a direct focus.
• Finally, balance itself is overrated. After all, nature lives in equilibrium and is often our of balance.

Principle: #26 Paradigms often need to be replaced with bigger ones.

• As the elements of the wold connect and then connect more completely, new assumptions and rules (aka paradigms) are called for.
• Otherwise, one experiences conflict where there really isn't one. And one misses opportunities because they are following the old rules and assumptions.
• Coaches are in the paradigm-shifting business.

Principle: #27 People do better when they've customized their P.O.S.

• P.O.S. - Personal Operating System.
• Just as computers have operating systems, so do people.
• A P.O.S. consists of a set of rules, assumptions, guidelines and strategies you use to live your life.
• Few people have taken a complete look at their P.O.S., but this is something a coach can provide.

Principle: #28 Clients want to be great clients.

• And, most of them are hiring coaches for the very first time, so they need your help and instruction on how to be great clients.
• Without this instruction, clients will automatically place you in a role that they may equate with coaching: sports coach, parent, best friend, sibling, guru. Which isn't what coaching is about.
• It's up to us to proactively educate our clients.

Principle: #29 We are just learning how to coach.

• Modern coaching is a new profession; it's only been around since the 1980's.

• As more coaches have more success with clients, their techniques and processes are passes on to other coaches through training networks like CoachVille.comm

• We're in this together: Coach, client and the coaching institutions.

Principle: #30 The right question reorients the client in an instant.

• And asking the right question at the right time and in the right way is a key part of the coaching process.
• Coaches learn a bank of such questions; and use their intuitive ability and experience to know which one to use in a situation, or to make up an entirely new question.
• High client value can be delivered this way.

Principle: #31 Language expands and accelerates awareness.

• Which comes first, awareness or language?
• Neither, but as you find words to describe what you're newly aware of, that awareness becomes empowering; something you can do something with.
• Language is one part vocabulary; one part understanding. Coaches help clients to better understand personal and business dynamics through language.

Principle: #32 Strategy first; action plan second.

• Ready, go, set! may be an exciting approach to reaching goals, but it's rarely the most effective.
• The goal is the 'what;' strategies are the 'how.' The winner of the game has the cleverest 'how.'
• Coaches add value to their clients by helping them to craft or improve the strategies that help the client get from Point A to Point B without having to go through Point Z. Strategy development is a creative process.

Principle: #33 Inklings are the precursors to truth.

• Most of us have learned to trust out intuition, which is a feeling we have that tells us something for which we don't yet have enough evidence to call it 'real.'
• There is an even more subtle level of awareness, called inklings. At this level, not only is there not evidence but we can barely find the words to talk about/articulate these inklings.
• Coaches respect the client's inklings and intuition.

Principle: #34 Personal needs can be met, forever.

• Humans spend up to 90% of their free energies chasing after unknown and/or unmet person needs.
• Examples: freedom, appreciation, respect, validation, inclusion, belonging, self esteem and success.
• When a person becomes crystal clear on what their personal needs are, they can get them satisfied.

• The NeedLess Program is a great place to start.

Principle: #35 Systems improve productivity and afford achievement.

• As life becomes more complex, systems are needed in order to sustain the richness without consuming valuable management time. This is obviously true in business, and increasingly true in one's personal life.
• We have better things to do than managing or doing most things.
• Humans are built to create. If you're not creating, you probably need more or improved systems.

Principle: #36 Upgrading your energy sources enhances your life experience.

• Energy sources are what motivate or excite you.
• Some things that motivate us are expensive, toxic, not sustainable; other things are frictionless, low cost and natural/sustainable.
• Coaches help clients upgrade their sources of energy by pointing out alternatives.

Principle: #37 Standards set the tone for your life.

• Standards are behavior you hold yourself to.
• Most of us have learned to settle in life.
• When you raise your standards, you rock the boat.
• Part of being successful and happy is rocking the boat.
• Clients find helpful the support and encouragement from coaches helpful in this area.
• Raising standards is a big deal.

Principle: #38 Experimentation leads to serendipity.

• Serendipity refers to the 'chance discovery' of something.
• The more you experiment, the greater your chances of discovery are.
• And the faster you evolve (think mutation).
• One way to experiment more is to reduce/eliminate the real or perceived consequences of failure.
• Less cost equals more experimentation.

Principle: #39 Everyone has a vision, they just don't know it yet.

• Visions aren't just for the visionaries.
• Put simply, vision is something you see that's possible for people, your community, the world.
• It's not magic; it's not complicated; it's not even special. It's 'just' a vision.
• Coaches help clients discover a vision that inspires them to do their best work in life. It's that simple.

Principle: #40 A lifestyle is not necessarily a life.

• Lifestyles can be seductive; life just is.
• Lifestyles require maintenance; often expensive.
• People are moving to simpler lives, even if a radical change of job or postal code is required.
• A lifestyle without coast is a life.
• Coaches help clients design a life.

Principle: #41 Delay disappears opportunities.

• Opportunities can come and go faster than ever before.
• The public/customers are less willing to wait.
• The trick is to eliminate delay in your personal and business life.
• The process takes six to twelve months; it's a reworking of your personal and business systems.
• The less delay, the more opportunities for success.

Principle: #42 An embarrassing weakness is often a key strength.

• Strengths are hidden in weakness, but because people hide their weaknesses, the strengths are never seen or developed properly
• The first step is to embrace and endorse your weaknesses, not resist or just accept them.
• From this level of embracing, you'll start to see the strengths inherent in, or covered up by, the weakness. Pretty cool stuff.

Principle: #43 Every problem has a simple cause.

• Of course, the trick is in properly identifying and languaging the 'real' problem.
• You know you've properly labeled the problem, when the simple solution becomes obvious.
• Coaches help clients articulate the 'real' problem and to identify the root cause of the problem.

Principle: #44 Environments can be crafted to evolve you.

• There are two basic ways to evolve yourself.
• First is by experimenting; a lot. Something is bound to happen! (The equivalent in biology is mutation.)
• Second is by crafting virtual and real / physical environments so that they stimulate you in surprising ways. (The equivalent in science is weather/foof sources.)
• It's a lot easier when your environments do the work.

Principle: #45 The client is always advising you where to go next with them.

• They may not come right out and say it, but they drop clues, continuously.
• Don't step over what you hear that sounds surprising, different or non-sequitur.
• These are messages, clues or requests that the client isn't able to direct about, or even conscious of.
• But the truth finds a way to come out in funny ways.

Principle: #46 Openness affords awareness; willingness affords openness.

• To become aware, it helps to realize how not open we are, even if we think/thought we were.
• It's like being humble vs. arrogant about how much you 'know.' There's no loss in enjoying one's relative ignorance.
• To be open means that you embrace the fluid/evolving nature of life, and the paradoxes that come with it.

Principle: #47 We react to what we have not yet included about ourselves.

• By include, I mean fully accept.
• So, when you react to another person's behavior by getting upset, frustrated, angry, it's actually something about you that their behavior is triggering.
• It IS possible to become so transparent that you stop reacting to the flaws/limits of others, without having to suppress yourself.
• This is a fairly advanced level of development.

Principle: #48 People resist what they feel they cannot afford to be true.

• Human nature? Probably.
• It's just that we have so much invested in our/the status quo that when something new comes by/up (and it always does), it means disrupting what we've invested in.
• Think CD vs. audiotape. DVD vs. videotape.
• The trick is to invest and live at the beginning of the curve of events/thinking. Lot's more fun, anyway.

Principle: #49 People are enriched by a wide variety of sources.

• And often by very different sources than our own.
• Some are enriched by thinking, others by work, play, hedonism, parenting, reading, learning, napping. Even by others...
• The problem is that many folks are trying to get enriched and nourished from sources that may have fit for their family or culture, but don't fit them.
• Coaches can help the clients find the right sources.

Principle: #50 Humans have an unstoppable urge to become.

• And part of what a coach does is to encourage and accelerate the process.
• Sometimes by releasing the client from old paradigms, old assumptions or limited thinking.
• Sometimes by pointing out new models to try.
• Sometimes by encouraging the client to grow.
• Clients may not hire us directly to do this, but we provide this as part of the coaching process.